From Rob Azevedo’s column One Man’s Manchester in the Manchester Express from March 30 ,2009:
Picture this: One Sunday you’re talking on the phone to your parents who live down south or around the corner or overseas in the Middle East. Maybe you spoke face-to-face over a plate of sautéed meats. The conversation eventually leads to the failing economy, and everyone agrees that times are rough and nobody’s got nothing to spare. “Save your money, Sonny,” a father might say to his adult son. “Don’t go spending crazy.” Sage words indeed, Papi. But they seem to pale in comparison to the reality that arrives the very next day when we learn that Papi has died, unexpectedly.
This is going to cost some money. Without having to dredge up all the rank emotion that goes along with fresh death, let’s not forget the financial burden tied to celebrating a life. Funerals, on the average, cost between $7,000 and $10,000. And that isn’t the lace curtain Bon Voyage, either. That’s the flowers, a limo, embalming, services, hall rental, casket and burial. What happens if I don’t have the cash? What if my line of credit is wiped out?
What happens to Papi?
The spirit only waits so long to be distinguished.
Buddy Phaneuf, President of Phaneuf Funeral Homes and Crematorium on Hanover Street, understands the struggles associated with an unexpected death. “Peel away the emotional aspects of a funeral, and you still have the business decisions to make,” said Phaneuf, whose family has been in the funeral business since the early 1900s. Phaneuf said that his customers aren’t the only ones taking a hit during these troubled times.
“The economy is absolutely impacting our business,” said Phaneuf over the phone, sighting lack of credit and available cash as culprit to some mourners. Still, according to Phaneuf, a memorial can be modified while still maintaining the dignity and spirit of the ceremony. It happens all the time.
“We work with families on simpler packages,” said Phaneuf, adding that his rates haven’t been adjusted because with a staff to pay and all the incidentals that go along with running a business, he can’t afford to. But what’s Buddy mean by “modified?”
Well, that means instead of a hardwood casket, Papi might be laid to rest in a veneer casket. The family will carpool to the gravesite instead of taking a limousine.
The floral arrangement will be traditional instead of a signature series. And there’s definitely no doves flying. There are other ways to shave down your cost. Cremation is an option, and that can be done for as low as $3,000, with a memorial. Call me a pagan but call me sensible. You can also order a biodegradable willow branch casket with a service for around the same cost. Think green, not with guilt.
If you have siblings, I imagine everyone chips in for the funeral. Sure, some of us will be refunded for the ceremony months down the road when all policies are cashed in. But others are towing the line themselves, sans the payoff.
The economy can impact a lot of things, but it can’t stop death. And while addressing the inevitable — whether near or far — is a painful exchange, maybe we should all step away from the sautéed meats and economic blather and focus for a moment on how we’re going to celebrate Papi’s legacy.
Manchester resident Rob Azevedo has written for the Boston Globe, Boston Globe Magazine, Improper Bostonian, Details, as well as various other men’s magazines. He can be reached at onemanmanch@gmail.com. 
